1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats." Seven Simple Ways To Free Yourself, from girl to girl (via notcapableoflove)
[step 1] open your mouth as wide as possible. make sure to stick out your tongue as far as you can, too, since kisses are like, 90% that thing
[step 2] find someone to kiss. you will know they want to kiss because their tongue will also be extended at full length
[step 3] move in for the kill
when heenim doesn’t jump with the rest of the boys
REMEMBER THAT EPISODE WHERE REESE THOUGHT MALCOLM WAS GAY AND MALCOLM THOUGHT REESE WAS GAY AND THEY TALKED ABOUT IT BUT LIKE THIS I’M CRYING
if i’m going to tweet siwon it’s going to be about important things
#ugh fuck #fuck fuck fuck #steve didnt even fucking use the shield he had in his hand #he just puched zola in the face #and it’s not a face #it’s a fucking screen #and it just keeps turning on#mocking him #natasha calls him ‘chipper’ later #for a guy who found out he died for nothing#dont be fooled #steve is anything but chipper #steve is angry and in pain and distraught #but this is steve rogers #and he’s been a variation of the three of them for years #and he knows by know he’s got to fight #he’s used to it #resigned to it #and he’ll do it with a smile #until bucky#that’s what breaks him #that’s the one thing that can completely undo him #and he doesn’t know yet #oh god he doesn’t know #steve rogers #walking wounded steve rogers #this movie fucked me up #tws (X)
#these movies get the spirit of what makes cap interesting #and ultimately really damn depressing #because steve’s better than the world around him #and while that’s inspiring and empowering for the people who work with him #and important to the people who look up to him as an icon #and who look to captain america when things are most hopeless #it’s taking pieces out of steve #he signed up to just be one soldier #not a savior #and he keeps dying for his country #and they keep bringing him back to do it again tags via (linzeestyle)
- The 13th Chair
what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
102 YEARS AGO
THEY’RE ALL SKELETONS FIGHTING IN THE UNDERWATER SKELETON WAR NOW
I’m sure they are very chill right now.
You might even say they’re…
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT
This post is a train wreckare you sure its not aship wreck
I will kill all of you
the titanic already took care of that
iT GOT BETTER
Not for the people on the titanic